


The Most Treacherous Thing

by Persiflager



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflager/pseuds/Persiflager
Summary: Robert and Aaron break up and cope badly.





	The Most Treacherous Thing

Aaron’s coping well with the break-up, in the sense that he’s not hurting himself or taking drugs or getting into fights. Robert would like it better if he wasn’t picking up blokes in Bar West every other night, but what Robert wants doesn’t matter any more when it comes to Aaron.

The guy Aaron’s talking to right now is fit - tall, dark, broad-shouldered and smiling, with a tailored jacket Robert wants to steal. He can’t fault Aaron’s taste.

They’ve been talking for about an hour in their booth across the room. Just talking, so far, but the stranger keeps punctuating what he’s saying with little touches to Aaron’s arm. Aaron looks as close to relaxed as Robert’s seen him since Mauritius, so he probably doesn’t object.

And now they’re kissing. The stranger’s lips are on Aaron’s mouth and his hand is on Aaron’s cheek and Robert’s heart is splitting in two. Not just his heart - it feels like all his internal organs are disintegrating, leaving him a hollow, useless shell that echoes with self-recrimination.

Aaron and the stranger leave. Robert gets up from his hiding place (a table half-hidden behind a pillar) and makes his way out.

..

Robert’s coping well with the break-up, in the sense that he hasn’t smashed up their home or hired a hitman or got anyone pregnant. Aaron would probably prefer it if Robert wasn’t stalking him, but Aaron doesn’t know and Robert needs to make sure he’s safe.

They’ve both grown so much as people. Robert’s honestly kind of proud.

..

Robert’s moved back into the pub. Charity offered him their old room back, which he thinks was largely motivated by the prospect of some free baby-sitting but was kind nevertheless (not a word he ever thought he’d associate with Charity Dingle).

The Dingles on the whole have been weirdly OK with him. Robert can’t work out if that’s because they’ve all done worse or because they think there’s hope for him and Aaron yet. He still half-expects to wake up in a car boot one of these days.

(Vic had offered him her sofa, because apparently she’s gone completely fucking mental. Robert had tried to explain why that probably wasn’t a good idea but he’s not sure it sunk in. At some point he needs to sit down and work out what the hell is going on with her, but right now he’s too busy coping badly with the end of his own marriage to think about hers.)

“Can you give me a lift?” asks Noah over breakfast. He’s all dressed for school. Charity’s nowhere to be seen.

“Why me?”

“You’re the closest thing in my life to a responsible adult at the moment.”

“Well, that’s just sad,” says Robert, and he has another bite of toast.

“I saw Aaron yesterday,” says Noah, watching Robert.

Robert swallows. “Oh?”

“He was running up by the pavilion. He wasn’t going too fast or anything - he let me run with him for a bit. He seemed alright.”

Robert waits until the thundering in his chest has calmed down. “Right. Thanks for letting me know.”

Noah sits there looking at him.

Robert sighs. “Get your bag.”

..

Work is an exercise in tact. Neither of them’s made any suggestions yet about splitting their assets so Robert still has a stake in the scrapyard, plus there’s Home James to think about. So far they’ve managed to avoid running into each other through a careful combination of scrap runs for Aaron and meetings for Robert. Robert suspects that Jimmy and Adam are colluding, which is a recipe for disaster if he’s ever heard one but he’s grateful for the help. They mean well, probably.

Robert texts Adam to check that the coast is clear before heading to the yard.

“How’s he doing?”

“Nice to see you too, Robert,” says Adam without looking up from the car he’s pulling apart. “Oh, I’m fine, thanks.”

Robert puts the coffee he brought on the bonnet.

“Cheers, mate.” Adam pulls his gloves off, grabs the cardboard cup with a grateful expression and take a long swig. “That’s better. I’m knackered. Been up since five helping my mum on the farm.”

“Noah says he’s been running.”

“Just short ones. I go with him sometimes, he’s not gone long.”

“But apart from that he’s alright?”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” says Adam, with a shifty expression that almost certainly relates to the fact he knows that Aaron didn’t come home last night, he knows why, and he doesn’t want to be the one to tell Robert. Adam really isn’t cut out for subterfuge, or anything else that requires brain cells for that matter.

Even so: “Thanks,” says Robert.

“Yeah, no problem. I want you two to work things out, you know?”

“So do I, but it’s not like I can just make Rebecca not be pregnant.” Robert’s thought about it, but it would be logistically challenging and he’s certain Aaron wouldn’t approve. He thinks he might also feel bad about it but frankly his feelings are of secondary importance at the moment.

“Yeah, suppose so.” Adam drinks the rest of his coffee in silence, and Robert can see the next question taking shape on his forehead before he says it out loud. “How’s Vic?”

“Still nuts.”

“Don’t suppose you could put in a word for me.”

“I would if I could,” says Robert, and he’s surprised to find that he actually means it, “but she didn’t listen to me before all this came out. I think I’d do your case more harm than good now.”

“Still-”

“If I get a chance, I will.”

“Thanks mate,” says Adam, clapping him on the arm. “What a pair of muppets we are, eh? Made a right mess of things.”

With horror, Robert realises that Adam probably now qualifies as his best friend. He makes his excuses and leaves before they have to hug.

..

Aaron doesn’t show up at Bar West that night. Robert has a few beers while he waits, and then a few more, and he’s just starting to think about heading home when a familar face swims into view and smiles at him.

“Hi,” says the smile.

“Hi,” says Robert. “You’re fit.”

The smile gets bigger. “Mike.”

“Robert,” says Robert as Mike sits down, and something about the movement triggers a memory. Mike is the handsome stranger Aaron took home last night.

Robert feels the urge to punch Mike, both for sleeping with Aaron in the first place and then for having the nerve to try to sleep with someone else, but puts the impulse on hold. Punching, he vaguely recollects, would be considered something of a faux pas in this establishment and might put a crimp in his burgeoning stalking career.

Mike’s talking. Robert doesn’t take in much of what he’s saying. He finds himself watching Mike’s mouth instead. It’s a nice mouth - mobile, fast-moving. That mouth kissed Aaron’s. Those lips have touched Aaron’s lips, recently, much more recently than Robert’s lips have.

Robert wants to kiss him, so he does, which seems to go down well. Maybe it’s just his imagination (or the beer) but Robert feels like he’s kissing a ghost Aaron - that Aaron’s lips still linger on Mike’s, and if Robert kisses him hard enough he’ll manage to-

“Robert?”

After disentangling himself, Robert turns around to find Aaron staring at him, open-mouthed. Robert feels the same. It’s nice that they’re still so in sync.

“Sorry, do you two know each other?” says Mike.

“That’s my husband,” says Aaron, and Robert’s heart swells.

“Right,” says Mike. “I don’t think I want to be in the middle of this. No offence.”

Aaron just nods and Mike walks away.

“You alright?”

Robert doesn’t know how to answer that. Objectively speaking the answer is probably no but Aaron is present and talking to him which makes it an automatic yes.

Aaron sighs. “How drunk are you, exactly?”

“Very,” says Robert, pleased with himself for knowing the answer to that one.

“Christ,” says Aaron, but he doesn’t look angry. “Alright, I’m taking you home.”

“To the pub or-”

“To the pub,” says Aaron firmly. “You’re a fucking liability, you know that?”

“Yes,” says Robert. Recent events have made that more than clear.

Aaron’s face softens. “Come on, then,” he says. “Let’s get you out of here.”

..

The taxi ride home is quiet. The driver’s from a neighboring village, Robert doesn’t know him. Aaron’s texting away.

Robert concentrates on not being sick.

Eventually the car comes to a halt and they both climb out. The air is sticky and horrible.

“Right then,” says Aaron, and he turns to leave but Robert grabs his arm.

“Wait.” Aaron raises an eyebrow and Robert lets go. “It’s just - it was about you. Do you understand? He was the closest I could get. If I could touch him then it would have been almost like touching you, because you’re gone and you’re not coming back, and I know it’s all my fault but I can’t handle it, Aaron, I really can’t. Don’t you get it? It’s about you. It’s all about you.”

Aaron stares at Robert.

“Sorry,” says Robert, stepping back.

Aaron nods. “Night, Robert,” he says at last, and he clears his throat. “Drink some water, yeah?” And he turns and walks away down the high street.

..

Robert is woken up by something sharp jabbing at his shoulder. He opens his eyes a crack to see a bright pink, well-manicured nail, attached to a hand, which is sticking out of the sleeve of an equally bright pink cardigan, which is being worn by Bernice.

“So you are alive then,” she says, sitting back. “I was beginning to wonder. You smell awful.”

“Bernice,” croaks Robert. “Why are you here?”

“Aaron texted me. Seemed to think you’d need looking after this morning, and by the looks of you he was right. Which is why I came prepared.” Bernice gestures at the bedside table where there’s a tray with two large cups of coffee, a packet of ibuprofen, a bottle of water with condensation beading down the side and a large iced bun.

“Why the bun?”

“That’s for me, I haven’t had breakfast,” says Bernice. “Now, get that lot down you, have a shower, and then we’re going to have a good long talk.”

..

Hot water, painkillers and caffeine serve to return Robert to the land of the living, and by the time he joins Bernice in the back room he feels almost human again.

“There, now don’t you look better?” she says, putting down her phone. “Now, I’ve made us some tea and am ready to counsel you.” She pushes a steaming mug towards Robert. “And in case you’re wondering, yes, I am fully qualified.”

“That’s-”

“Oh, knew I forgot something!” Bernice sets a pocket pack of tissues down on the table. “Feel free to cry.”

Robert stares at the tissues and reminds himself that he loves Bernice, she means well, and Aaron almost certainly hasn’t done this to punish him./p>

“That’s very nice of you,” he begins, “but I really don’t think-”

“Aaron says that you’re being a prat,” says Bernice, and the colossal unfairness of that statement makes Robert’s jaw drop.

“I’m not the one sleeping with other people,” says Robert.“Well, not recently.”

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?” says Bernice. “In your own time.”

Robert does.

…

“Well,” says Bernice, blinking, when Robert’s finished explaining.

“You did tell me at the wedding that it’s important to surprise your husband from time to time.”

“Not exactly what I had in mind,” says Bernice, and then she narrows her eyes at him. “Husband? Not ex-husband?”

“Slip of the tongue,” says Robert.

Bernice raises an eyebrow.

“I’m not the one who called it off,” he says, waving his left hand at her so she can see the ring.

“But Aaron did. And now he’s moving on, and it’s making you unhappy.”

“He’s not though,” says Robert, sure of himself for the first time this morning. “He’s not dating, he’s not getting to know anyone - he’s just coping. I don’t think he’s any happier than I am.”

“He’s not the one who woke up in a state this morning.”

Robert reluctantly accepts the validity of this argument.

“Hm.” Bernice sits back in her chair and sips her tea. “I’ll have to have a think about this one.”

“Oh really,” says Robert. “Did your little course not tell you the magic solution? Face it Bernice, we’re fucked. Aaron can’t cope with Rebecca being around, I can’t cope without Aaron, and neither of them will leave the village. My marriage is over because of one stupid mistake and I’m never going to be able to fix it, and-”

“Now, stop right there, Robert Sugden!” says Bernice, sitting up straight. “I will not have you sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity is a very unattractive quality. Do you think you’re the only person who’s made mistakes? I myself know very well what it’s like to have a failed marriage to a gay man.”

“Not really the same.”

“Shut up and drink your tea.”

Robert complies. It’s not very nice tea. They sit in silence.

“I’ll give you one thing,” says Bernice eventually. “He still cares about you.”

“That’s something,” says Robert, as the treacherous tendrils of hope coil around his heart.

“It’s everything,” says Bernice.

..

All in all, it comes as something of an anticlimax to find out that he isn’t the father of Rebecca’s unfortunate child after all.

“She didn’t know,” says Vic, perching on the arm of the sofa and looking down at him with big, pleading eyes. “She’s really embarrassed, Robert. She’s left the village.”

“Couldn’t care less,” says Robert, getting up. He feels dizzy, and exultant, and like he’s just woken up from a nightmare. “There’s someone I need to find.”

..

Robert eventually tracks Ross down to the garage (he does actually do honest work from time to time, who knew?). He watches for a full five minutes before Ross notices him.

“What?”

Robert grins at him, giddy with sweet, sweet schadenfreude. Ross doesn’t know. This is the best thing that’s happened to him in months. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“Are you off your head or something?”

Robert just grins and turns away, which is when he sees Aaron running towards him.

Aaron skids to a stop three feet away and it feels like Robert’s heart does the same.

“I know,” says Aaron before Robert can say anything. “Vic texted me.”

Robert swallows. “I know we’re not OK. I’m not expecting-”

“Fuck that,” says Aaron, and he grabs Robert and kisses him until Ross starts cat-calling.

“Want to come home with me?”

“That might be the stupidest question I’ve ever heard,” says Robert.

..

Afterwards, it takes Robert a while to catch his breath.

“So much for taking this upstairs,” he says, staring up at the living room ceiling.

“You complaining?”

Robert catches Aaron’s hand and holds it. He’s got his ring back on - must have slipped it on before running over, he wasn’t wearing it last night. “Never.”

There’s a moment when Robert thinks Aaron might pull away but he doesn’t. Instead he lets out a long sigh before rolling and cuddling up to Robert, his head pillowed on Robert’s bare chest.

Robert doesn’t dare to move. He barely dares to breathe. Instead he listens to Aaron’s breathing - slow, deep inhale and faintly whistling exhale. He’s missed it so much.

“I should get tested,” says Aaron, sounding muffled. “Just to be on the safe side.”

“Hm.”

“So should you, you know. I mean, you slept with Rebecca, she slept with Ross, god knows who he’s been with-”

“Just so you know, your pillow talk hasn’t improved over the past couple of months,” says Robert, stroking Aaron’s hair.

Aaron subsides.

“Oh, speaking of children who aren’t mine,” says Robert, “I think we should adopt Noah.”

Aaron levers himself up to stare at Robert. “You what?”

“Or at least have him round more often. He’s family, right? Charity wouldn’t care, she barely notices him as it is, and he’s a good kid. Plus he’s half-grown already, he wouldn’t be much effort.”

Aaron continues to stare at Robert. His eyes might be the bluest things Robert has ever seen.

“What do you think?”

“I think you hit your head on the floor when we went down,” says Aaron. “But alright. Let’s speak to Liv first though, yeah?”

“Of course.” Robert presses a kiss to Aaron’s sweaty temple.

“Got any other bright ideas you want to share with me?”

“I might have promised Bernice that if we got back together we’d let her counsel us.”

Aaron pulls a face. “Not if you want us to stay together. She’s a nightmare, look at what happened with Dan and Kerry.”

“Oh, come on, it’d make her really happy.”

“Since when did you care about making other people happy?”

“Since I met you,” says Robert, and Aaron’s eyes go soft. “You changed me so much. I’m not right without you.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, because he’s a fucking child who doesn’t appreciate romance when he hears it. “You’re alright,” he says, and he lies back down. “But no way are we talking to Bernice. Tell her you took her advice and it worked a treat, she’ll like that.”

Robert resumes stroking Aaron’s hair. It’s soft and fluffy, a little longer than when he last touched it, and it smells different. Robert makes a mental note to check what conditioner Aaron’s using now, it’s nice.

The house is quiet except for the sound of a clock ticking. Robert’s never going to move again.


End file.
